This is complicated, terribly complicated...... happiness is the strangest feeling in the world. this concert has been something beyond human capacity of understanding... seven years have not gone in vain... three seconds of a kind stare are very much what i expected, and yet, not enough to make me think that is where it stops. It is very weird being surrounded by people who believe that true admiration lies in the numbing of the sensibility of the object of such emotive rush, while i am perhaps just a quiet observer, one who tries to dig deep in that which is not entirely new.
i don't like very much the fact that she only looked down for a couple of seconds, in my extremely rational way of living, the fact that it was no more than a couple of seconds, makes me think that i did not exist long enough in her retina to become a memorable fact, but being there, feeling alive again, perfectly alone, swimming in a sea of unescrutable personalities whit whom i only share a limited portion of time and space. Happiness is overwhealming, i'm scared to my gut to wake up and realize that even in my fictions i can be more of a person than in most of the time i have to carry this burden of being with ME. But i AM happy, i have died today and been reborn as a thirteen-year-old, exactly where i was almost seven years ago when a little song - which, by the way, no one else seems to enjoy as much as i do- called wake up triggered something in my head and made me realize that solipsism is not possible because of the existence of such individuals i could never be, therefore, never make up.
it has been a rescue.
i am extatic.