sitting here, just, sitting here; or there, or anywhere. there's always something keeping me anchored to the ground, and though i drift to wonderland with amazing ease, i'm always just here; or there, or anywhere; always stuck, always swollen, always aching, complaining, neglecting, refusing: being, being here. how was it that i ended up here? up? i cannot even keep track of whatever lays behind these eyes of mine.