being as it is, i find myself thinking that this is not what was meant to be; what IS meant to be.__i find it hard to see myself in anything other than this, but i often question the reasons (as opposed to causes) of my ending up here, at this time, with these folk.__and while i sit under the clear sky of february, awaiting a sign form the heavens above to take me from this place, i see his eyes, the grand masters eyes, looking at this small figure on the grass with polluted lungs and disfigured smile, looking with somewhat trusting eyes, as though the belief of ability for unheard tongues invaded him.__i cannot understand, i cannot even begin to do so, but i try, and i trust that look was not in vain.__now destiny is not an issue, it is a mere fiction, a distraction, a delay.__i may not be meant to be here, but i can enjoy it still.
We must consider whether a thing is the same as, or different from, what being is for it. This is relevant to our investigation of substance, for a thing is thought to be no different from its own substance, and what being is for a thing is said to be the substance of the thing
Aristotle. Metaphysics. Book Z Chapter 6
1031 a 15-19