:: painfully fulfilling ::
the sort of abstraction i derive from my daily delusions is seemingly enough to keep me far from my nightly fears and hesitations, it may be, it just may
be that what i chose, what i became -and am becoming- constitutes no less than a diversion from this i dare to call cavilations of true fear.__i am quite concerned about the impact that this path -well, not exactly this one, because it is not even comparable to the simplicity of my own experience- can and certainly is going to have upon those that walk behind their own curtains presumably by my side; i am quite concerned for i know not if i could begin to have the strength to as beautifully worried about, not only the turn-out of things, but also for the fact that one is walking on a one-way street.__if silence is to determine the content of my own experience and to draw the lines of the explanatory efficiency of this
, then let me be silent for as long as my brain permits it so::the pulsing and raging of the natural born instinct of justification and analysis can only find calm within the uncomfortable activity of the academiscist resolutions i am now submerged in.
and though this silence is my comfort and my eagerness expanded, it can only be the smallest part of the joy-filled race against my fears and my ever lasting laziness, it can only be painfully fulfilling to be my-self suspended in this nothing.
coming in through my ears::Definition/Kruder and Dorfmeister