hesitant aranta



depicted

[foto de ºCHiViSº--flickr]

incoming
Nicomachean Ethics//Aristotle
Eudemian Ethics//Aristotle
Poetics//Aristotle
De Anima//Aristotle
Cause, Necessity and Blame//Richard Sorabji
The Fragility of Goodness//Martha C. Nussbaum
Essays on Aristotle's Ethics//Amelie Rorty (editor)
Aristotle's Theory of Action//David Charles
Aristotle on Moral Responsibility//Susan S. Meyer
The Fabric of Character//Nancy Sherman
Choosing Character//Jonathan Jacobs
Aristotle's Psychology//Daniel N. Robinson

Volta//Björk
Medùlla//Björk
Vespertine//Björk
Vespertine Live at the Royal Opera House//Björk

Carbon Monoxide//Marlboro Reds
caffeine in not so large ammounts

a whole lotta love

secondary bibliography

overt influences
straying

[...]
Wie ich mechanisch eine neue Zigarrette drehe und die braunen Stäubchen mit feinem Prickeln auf das weißgelbe Löschpapier der Schreibmappe niedertaumeln, will es mir unwarscheinlich werden, daß ich noch wache. Und wie die feuchtwarme Abendluft, die durch das offene Fenster neben mir hereingeht, die Rauchwölkchen so seltsam formt und aus dem Bereich der grünbeschirmten Lampe ins Mattschwarze trägt, steht es mir fest, daß ich schon träume.
Da wird's natürlich schon ganz arg; denn diese Meinung wirft der Phantasie die Zügel auf den Rücken. Hinter mir knackt heimlich neckend die Stuhllehne, daß es mir jäh wie hastiger Schauder durch alle Nerven fährt. Das stört mich ärgerlich in meinem tiefsinnigen Studium der Bizarren Rauchschriftzeichen, die im mich irren, und über die einen Leitfaden zu ferfassen ich bereits entschlossen war.
Aber nun ist die Ruhe zum Teufel. Tolle Bewegung in allen Sinnen. Fiebrisch, nervös, wahnsinnig. Jeder Laut keift. Und mit all dem verwirrt steigt Vergessenes auf. Einst dem Sehsinn Eingeprägtes, das sich seltsam erneut; mit dem Fühlen dazu von damals. [...] Vision. Proza-Skizze//Thomas Mann.


past utterances
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27.6.04

:: methodological solipsism as a strategy for emotional survival ::

coming in through my ears::air coming in and out of my lungs

 


22.6.04

:: motricity ::
a faint signal travels at astounding velocity from the brain to the hand and back, it traces the contours of each muscle and each sensitive strand, it raises the small fibers spread across the dermis, it dilates the pupils and orders the secretion of salted water through the eyes. a path that cannot be said to be settled or still is taken by the one thing that can be responsible for the immaterial result, for the grandness of the ambiguity of the line. and it is in the precise moment when position has no value that one expands and remains still in the contemplation of the infinite scenarios of that which is erroneously called creation: one cannot escape one's self when being simply the controlled tremor of the hands. there is no such thing as chance involved.
coming in through my ears::Communication Breakdown/Led Zeppelin

 


21.6.04

:: this should be brief ::
i was going to write. now i'm not so sure that i want to do so. i'm not sure that i don't.
coming in through my ears::Mykologics/Mouse on Mars

 


20.6.04

:: worth a thousand words ::

The Kiss/Gustav Klimt
back then i knew not why i paid attention to the little cardboard strand keeping an abyss in between pages.__back then it seemed of no importance that a certain combination of influences and tremendously hard-studied gestures could come into scene at the same time, i did not wish to analyze the meaning of all those components, of the life and power they conveyed, of the thrill and angst that made that possible.__back then an image was just an image.
now i can't evade the fact that i have above all a graphic memory, that my life seems to work its way through the simpleness of the ambiguity of the lines i can no longer create.__now, it seems, there is no escape to the hypnotic effect of dilated pupils and overpowered tremor of the hands.__i am submerged in a world of meanings when i crave to simply contemplate and dilute into the passionate thrill of that that is at arms-length.
coming in through my ears::little voices in my head telling me to take a pencil and let go

 


15.6.04

:: Guérin ::

Pierre-Narcisse Guérin. El regreso de Marco Sexto. 1799. Louvre Museum
coming in through my ears::Minuet/Ludwig Van Beethoven

 


14.6.04

:: sutilezas ::
"sameness relation between the sudden change of the iris and the surrounding light of dusk" she nodded, as she tends to do when the unsettled and unsettling voices in her head add something to the purity of moments where cavilation seems futile.__when pupils contract, a very specific type of pain takes place, probably similar to that produced by the change in the color shown by the many muscles that compose the iris; "curious how precisely now awareness is of the eyes and nothing more" once again she nods.__all of her photo-graphs have the same tonalities involved, it seems she cannot evade yellow "the only color that is not part of the spectrum in a pure form, one could say it does not even exist" now she tenses up her mouth and a slight grin product of some strange satisfaction sees the light "you're always looking for that, the portayal of something that cannot be said properly to exist".__like the static from an old recording, she visualizes -for it is not merely sound perception taking place now-the movement of subtle particles in the air, a tension so large, so deep, so present it could freeze anyone else, destroy any invasive elements of that purity; "you need not explain this" affirmative gestures.__division of the rays of artificial light by means of the usually insignificant drops of water -whatever that may be- and a soundtrack that begins to have importance, that becomes, i am afraid to say, once more important "you cannot know anything unless you have known it previously".__golden reddish strands of hair growing from her arms appear to have conscience of what she will not tell herself, in a manner that simulates a grand applause, an ovation, a request for an encore, they deny gravity and levitate upon her "now it is not only the eyes, fear not, adrenaline will keep you going" with closed eyes the head describes a vertical line in the air "you cannot refuse me, i am merely the expression of what you need not say".__on a night with no moon all leafs turn blue, but still she seeks yellow.

coming in through my ears::Paris Lounge/Gotan Project

 


11.6.04

:: don't drink the water ::
1. there's blood in the water./ 2. it's not really water, something as rare and dangerous cannot deserve such a title
-you know it could kill you.
-do i?
-well, it's used to lower the temperature of nuclear reactors.
-the more reason to give it a try, it is clear i know not what to do with all this fire.
-it's not meant for dinking
-perhaps, perhaps not.
-you know it could kill you.
-do i?
coming in through my ears::Don't drink the water/Dave Mathews Band

 


10.6.04

:: due to the lack of many things ::
i've come to wonder about the "appropriate-ness" of my writing in this blog many of the things i craved so not to tell myself. for it is when one faces each one of the many things that appear confusing and erratic about one's own experience in life that the tremor strikes and the trust in the capability of handling events goes away as easily as smoke vanishes into thin air. but then again, when the air is infected with many waves of smoke, is it possible to see how each one of the strands coming from the little white rolled up papers in so many others' hands {right now my own hands are shaking, i fear i might not be able to refrain myself from speaking}vanishes, ceases to be?. i think not, i believe that sometimes it is possible to keep in sight such strands, that it is possible to manage destiny's will in a manner that would permit the feeling of freedom of (and for) choice in life. but lately, i must say, though rationally i am tied to the idea of such control, there is something in human nature (my own, or anyone else's... i cannot be certain about that... well, not entirely)that avocates me to thinking that there is that thing that can never be helped. i've come to think that writing in my current situation is probably not the best thing to do, the lack of many, many things (sleep, time, knowledge of causes, prudence,trust for my intellectual abilities) has probably driven me to doing this exercise where my usual ambiguity and care for the way things are to be portrayed has become a 'second order' matter. could anyone believe that sudden strikes of fear invade me every now and then? could anyone believe that with the passing of every second i become more convinced about the fatalistic nature of life, that i submerge joyfully in the idea of deterministic character of life?. i can, i do, i must. for there is no other way of explaining why i ended up here, with those that in one way or another are beside me, feeling what i never thought i could and what i would not permit myself considering as a possibility. yes, the explicative efficiency of pre-determined paths is grander than that other one involving free will, than that other one where one is capable of making the bigger-choices of one's life. but is it such efficiency enough for accepting such thing as true, valid and necessary? i'm confused by the idea. i could go mad by accepting it, but i am mad just as well. it seems no matter how much i try to evade questioning myself about this particular topic (trying to find refuge in the study of the dynamics of language, epistemological theories or simply diverting my attention by means of stupidity)i always end up torturing myself in one way or another. once more, the current state i'm in infects and corrupts my clear thinking and strain when writing. i apologize.
coming in through my ears::Aguzate/Richie Ray & Bobby Cruz

 


9.6.04

:: EDMG ::
Quatenus mens res omnes ut necessarias intelligit, eatenus maiorem in affectus potentiam habet, seu minus ab iisdem patitur.
coming in through my ears::Piano Sonata No. 8 in C-/Frederic Chopin

 


8.6.04

:: sören ::

we've been together for two years now.
coming in through my ears::Every me and every you/Placebo

 


7.6.04

:: such fright ::

coming in through my ears::B Line/Lamb

 


4.6.04

:: just a few chords ::
due to all that hard work on the de-crypting of Aristotle's H4-5, i need now to numb myself with a tidbit of music. ten random songs.
1. La Femme D'Argent//Air.____this french band was found by means of my yahoo launch player, the soothing effect it has on me right now is somehow indescribable. it resembles to some point one other band found also on launch called "lemon jelly". the genre is called 'ambient' but i know not what that means or implies. ***
2.Jazzanova Lounge (Deepside A)//St. Germain____yet another french electronic band. for all i know, these people are a jazz quartet and a dj, known mostly by one song of theirs called 'so flute' often played in bars. it's quite a strange song, not entirely upbeat, but the iteration of some words i cannot comprehend gives it that techno-feel. ***
3. Old Love//Eric Clapton____ as most songs by Clapton, this one has something of a magnetic grip, a certain charm to its apparent simplicity. i love his voice, that sorrow reaching for light and comfort in the outside. ****
4. Paradigm Shift//Liquid Tension Experiment____this one just startled me, it's what those that know something about music -evidently, not myself, i simply use the term hoping such use is appropriate- call 'progressive rock'. there's certainly virtuosism in what is played, and the up-tempo character of the song simply emanates a sense of power. though it can be debated whether or not there's 'feeling' to it all, i must say i like it . *** 1/2
5. Michele//The Beatles____i learned to play this song on the clarinet when i was on fifth grade, it was a most gratifying experience for i've always had a strong bond to The Beatles' music -call it acquired behavior from the example set by my father-; though i cannot understand a lot of things said in the song -i don't understand french- every time i listen to it, tears flow up. *****
6. No Surprises//Radiohead____this is a song that i believe to be simply charming, in each of the many ways in which that can be understood. i've had a strange 'relationship' with Radiohead, there are times in which i adore it, some others in which i can't emotionally stand it. "siiiiiiiiiiiiilent". ****
7.Manfred-Meditation//Friedrich Nietzsche____i once was obsessed with this fellow, though i know i could never articulate a single word about him, from that time comes this beautiful song, part of a trilogy -or so i've been told- composed in his early years. the quality of the recording -the interpret is called, john "something"- is not very good, i think it's some sort of concert, but the simplicity of the piano accompanied by cello is magical, to say the least. ****
8. Mammagamma//Alan Parson's Project____one more product of my father's influence upon my musical likings. this song in particular is not one of my favorites, it seems to be quite "disco" -as my father calls everything he doesn't like-; i would rather recommend 'Psycobabble'. **1/2
9.Sea//Jorge Drexler____i found out about the existence of this enchanting fellow by means of Mer's blog. this song has it all, good rhythm, good lyrics, good arrangements. ****
10.Coming Back to Life//Pink Floyd____by some strange will or fortune, Pink Floyd always manages to be on my lists, that is quite strange for i don't have that much music on my winamp playlist by them. this song reminds me of srguillot for many many reasons, but mostly because of the 'singing technique', it reminds me of his voice and love for his singing. i like this song, i don't know what else to say. *****
coming in through my ears::Novacane/Beck

 


3.6.04

:: Piet's game ::
If you were able to travel back in time to any year, era or century, what would you bring back with you? You can only pick one frame of time, and the things you bring back may be living things as well nonliving things (in other words, creatures and people can be smuggled back with you). There is no limit, but aim for 50 things.
time frame: my life, to this point. (how could i even conceive bringing back something that was never mine?)
1. the "batigallenco".
2. those proud eyes of hers.
3. the sound of his voice.
4. all the books i've lost.
5. "a night at the opera" by queen.
6. the pocket knifes i wasn't allowed but nevertheless used.
7. that first bottle of rum.
8. that first ticket to the 'book-fair'.
9. my pulse.
10. that meter of hair.
11. a swimming pool.
12. my left-handed abilities.
13. the egg flavored jelly beans from miami.
14. his curly hair, along with everything else that is his.
15. my chemistry book.
16. norma.
17. my father's silver celebrity.
18. my mother's green renault 4.
19. the set of water colors given to me on my brother's birth.
20. the possibility of falling asleep on the way to school.
21. my uniform's red shoes.
22. my goldfish.
23. my keropi mezameshitokei... "ohayou gozaimasu!".
24. my recycled pencils.
25. my rgveda #10 manga.
26. my mickey mouse guitar pick.
27. sergio
28. meow (also known as cuál)
29. my red puma shoes.
30. my eyelashes.
31. my distrust for murphy's law.
32. my raging fanatism for alanis morissette and the joyous feeling that accompanied every note of her music. 33. my knowledge of many kanji.
34. my ability to wake up.
35. his hands.
36. my thundercats notebooks.
37. my toeffl exam's results.
38. that beautifull swimsuit i never got to wear.
39. my pierced tongue.
40. watching movies on the phone with norma.
41. angie's smell.
42. his eyes.
43. pantufla, the only dog i ever had.
44. the first time i fell off a horse.
45. my beatles commemorative coffee mug.
46. his lips
47. my paintbrushes.
48. my da vinci poster.
49. that picture with black hair and red shirt.
50. miguel.
coming in through my ears::hideyoshi san on the phone telling me that the embassy's exam is next friday

 


1.6.04

:: dankeschön ::
to all. Posted by Hello

coming in through my ears::norma on the phone :)