:: all those letters ::
i started reading at a very young age, i remember sitting on the rugged floor with "Pinoccio" -the canticuentos edition- on my lap, trying to de-cipher or rather de-crypt the little letters scrambled across the pages.__ i remember putting my eyes almost on
the pages, as if i was trying to touch the printed characters with my eyelashes.__ by the time i was 5 i was obligated to wear eye glasses, the doctor said it was a minor problem, that it could be easily fixed with a couple of years of treatment.__ i worked my way out of glasses; i threw them away, i crushed them against walls, i lied to teachers about having to wear them: the problem grew worse.
i often repeat lines, am unable to be certain of what characters in books are called, am confused by dialogues and forget whether or not i've already read things.__ my "lazy-eye" makes up for my effort to pay attention; it feels as though i was racing to get to the end of the text, the page, the line, the word even.__ and so my mind has to interfere the speed of the process, it has to slow down everything and imprint sense into the usually black-coloured splatters of ink, briefly, it has to make up a story so that i can be convinced that i, in fact, am reading.
i've never really read a book.__ well, i cannot assure i have, not the book that was written, or the book that was meant to be read (although i believe there might not be such thing as the objective-reality of the story presented).__ but i have invented a couple; maybe that explains why i like so few books and why i am overwhelmed when i find a sequence of words that appeals to me in a particular way.__ reading is like a prison, like a mirror, in some ways, like a pond.
so i can't write about something i've read, i cannot say truthfully, or at least have supporting arguments, that someone said or meant anything, for i can only know what i let myself know about what i presumed was written.__ how is it that you manage to write so passionately about what you've come to know through words? how is it that it becomes a sort of truth when heard? how is it that your words appeal to me in such a special way leading me to the belief of comprehension?
someone please teach me how to read.
coming in through my ears:: Indistinct sounds from the television set