:: Schwiegerkeit ::
you would think it becomes easier with time [well it doesn't] it never ceases to be a horrible pain you cannot get away from.__you take a pencil and a piece of paper and think of letting it all go in a few lines that could convey all this rage that now floods your head [you're tricking yourself once more, you're making believe that there's an answer, a way out, that this really is not at all aporetic] and free you from it.__run run as you may, as you have and as you will [she is there to make sure your wounded back keeps bleeding] what has been given stays forever given.__you've become impossible to numb and impossible to move, you are now withdrawn from the realm of sympathy [how can you not hate her, how can you not hate this? how can you not hate this?]quietly sobbing.
one must be resistant, right? there would be no tragic value otherwise... but therein lies the thing i have never been able to understand, is there sense to it all? is there supposed to be?.__you've been taught to think of this as something bound to make you stronger, or so they say [it hasn't killed you, but certainly it hasn't let you be either] that the christian virtue is above all the abandon of one's self.
i can't cope with this anymore.
there's just too much that escapes my will.
coming in through my ears::crazytalk