:: oppositions ::
i was born a gemini. born a contradiction, raised a contradiction. i decided to study philosophy as a way of understanding why the one thing i was recognized as 'good at' presented me with an irresoluble conflict. i'll leave my home soon awaiting a solution. maybe too platonically, i view this world as an opposition between two existing things ; i view myself as two things stuck in one temporary existence. it marvels me to think of how many options there are to be taken, and how few are, in fact, opted for. for there is no thing as hard as the recognition of one's self as a duplicity of desires and constrictions. i blame myself for not being what i had once desired to be, but then i realize i am here, now, doing, acting, suffering, taking pleasure, diverting, focusing, repenting, willing. and so i ask myself if i should acknowledge these two sides to myself as such: as two sides of just one me. the answer is as clear as it is unexplainable, this is me, all i know to be myself is contradictory and yet consistent. it may be philosophically inaccurate to think of this matter in such a simplistic way, but i cannot expect to reach a point where a rational explanation for this feeling in my 'gut' is brought forth. nevertheless, many, many attempts have been made. the identity of self, the platonic Model as a way of erasing the line between intelligible and sensible, the everlasting conflict between the forces of nature and freedom, rigor and beauty, a graphic line and a linguistic line, love and distance, myself and all other.
Porfirio says he can prove that there underlies no dualism to platonic philosophy. i hope he cannot show such a thing. i believe that the beauty in it all lies in the fact that it so gracefully portrays the constant struggle with which the world and ourselves understand what goes on. Unity between two conflicting sides cannot be reached in a peaceful manner; that would certainly imply a dissolution of one or both, an end to the gracefulness and the grandess of the proposed view. Then again, i'll probably end up making efforts beyond my capacity to show that such dual perspective is inadmissible.
coming in through my ears:: miguelito on the phone