hesitant aranta



depicted

[foto de ºCHiViSº--flickr]

incoming
Nicomachean Ethics//Aristotle
Eudemian Ethics//Aristotle
Poetics//Aristotle
De Anima//Aristotle
Cause, Necessity and Blame//Richard Sorabji
The Fragility of Goodness//Martha C. Nussbaum
Essays on Aristotle's Ethics//Amelie Rorty (editor)
Aristotle's Theory of Action//David Charles
Aristotle on Moral Responsibility//Susan S. Meyer
The Fabric of Character//Nancy Sherman
Choosing Character//Jonathan Jacobs
Aristotle's Psychology//Daniel N. Robinson

Volta//Björk
Medùlla//Björk
Vespertine//Björk
Vespertine Live at the Royal Opera House//Björk

Carbon Monoxide//Marlboro Reds
caffeine in not so large ammounts

a whole lotta love

secondary bibliography

overt influences
straying

[...]
Wie ich mechanisch eine neue Zigarrette drehe und die braunen Stäubchen mit feinem Prickeln auf das weißgelbe Löschpapier der Schreibmappe niedertaumeln, will es mir unwarscheinlich werden, daß ich noch wache. Und wie die feuchtwarme Abendluft, die durch das offene Fenster neben mir hereingeht, die Rauchwölkchen so seltsam formt und aus dem Bereich der grünbeschirmten Lampe ins Mattschwarze trägt, steht es mir fest, daß ich schon träume.
Da wird's natürlich schon ganz arg; denn diese Meinung wirft der Phantasie die Zügel auf den Rücken. Hinter mir knackt heimlich neckend die Stuhllehne, daß es mir jäh wie hastiger Schauder durch alle Nerven fährt. Das stört mich ärgerlich in meinem tiefsinnigen Studium der Bizarren Rauchschriftzeichen, die im mich irren, und über die einen Leitfaden zu ferfassen ich bereits entschlossen war.
Aber nun ist die Ruhe zum Teufel. Tolle Bewegung in allen Sinnen. Fiebrisch, nervös, wahnsinnig. Jeder Laut keift. Und mit all dem verwirrt steigt Vergessenes auf. Einst dem Sehsinn Eingeprägtes, das sich seltsam erneut; mit dem Fühlen dazu von damals. [...] Vision. Proza-Skizze//Thomas Mann.


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10.7.06

:: grudges ::

i tend to hold grudges for very long periods of time._ i find it somehow too complicated to simply let go of things i could've once felt as painful or annoying; i know i have a great deal of trouble with the mere concept of forgiveness._ although i know that it is impossible to live without having the ability of forgiving, up till now, i have found it to be a much easier answer to isolate myself, to take distance from all those -and oh they are so many- with whom i would not be comfortable talking about those little impulses behind my eyes that make me at times have to decide between screaming and swallowing my tounge._ the thing is, to say it as simply as i can, i sometimes feel as betraying myself when i utter something like "it's alright", or "don't worry about it"._ i know i've never really meant it; sometimes the rage, or the pain, or the sadness fades away masked by the short lasting feeling of moral satisfaction, but in the end it always comes back to haunt me: in my dreams, in my imaginary conversations, in my drawings, everywhere._the faces of those i dare not look at for fear of thrusting a terrible stare show up everywhere, reminding me of how terrible it was for me not to let myself complain and explode and speak my mind and just tell them i could never ever begin to even forgive and forget the things done to me or someone else._but it is too highly valued, this unpleasant politeness, this almost too incomprehensible way of handling things, for me to be able to once let go and sit quietly, all to my self, without all those terrible ghosts of the past and the past to be._funny enough, i am one to beg for forgiveness all the time._ i somehow manage to get everything wrong, every single moment i screw up something, i hurt someone, i let my lack of attention and contemplation arise and show, i let myself be me, this horrid me._is it possible that there be someone really capable of forgiving? is it really really possible for someone to let go of rage and hate and pain and struggle? is it possilbe to become somehow become free through it? could i for once stop running?

coming in through my ears::Björk //Our Hands